


Home

by FireFerrett31



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:34:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26666017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FireFerrett31/pseuds/FireFerrett31
Summary: Starting from The Southern Raiders episode, Zuko and Katara have three different nights where they learn more about their relationship and feelings toward each other.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 35





	Home

Part I- Before

Zuko’s eyes were heavy as he held Appa’s reins. It had been hours since he and Katara left the communication tower for Whale Tail Island, and even longer since they had left camp on this journey. The black night sky matched their stealthy clothes, although the full moon shone as brightly as the sun, allowing Zuko to see clearly where they were going. Katara laid quietly at the back of Appa’s saddle, having barely spoken to him during their entire adventure, except when necessary. He had the sense that she wasn’t actually deeply asleep, even if she appeared to be.  
Zuko rubbed his eyes and looked at the moon. Its bright white rays bathed everything around him in an ethereal pale glow. He thought about what Sokka had said about his first girlfriend turning into the moon and wondered if that was meant to be taken literally. It was hard to tell with that guy.  
Finally, Zuko decided that he had had enough. He yawned and stretched one final time, and whispered to Appa to keep flying straight, to which the bison grunted an affirmative reply. As he climbed into the saddle behind him, ready to sleep on the far opposite side of Katara, something caught his eye. Despite the warm summer air, Katara appeared to be shivering. Careful not to move too quickly or loudly, Zuko crawled over to her and positioned himself carefully so he could see her face. Hot, angry tears seeped from her closed eyes and flowed down her contorted face. Every ounce of anger, fear, and hatred that Katara tried to keep in check while awake was painfully visible in the moonlight.  
As she silently shook and seethed, Zuko’s heart felt a twinge of pain. It felt like looking in a mirror. How many restless nights had plagued him for years? Dreams of his absent mother, his torturous father, conniving sister, disappointed uncle? All these emotions that Zuko had inside of him were also inside of her, and while some part of him may have already been aware of that, actually seeing her in the tremendous amount of pain that she kept hidden so well changed something deep inside of him.  
For a reason he did not completely understand, he desperately wanted to help. To make her feel safe, even in her sleep. Feeling like he was in a dream, Zuko laid on his side near her. He contorted his body to match hers, and slowly moved in close. His heart racing as he closed the space between them, until his nose was mere inches from her hair. She smelled like fire lilies, one of his favorite scents, although he couldn’t guess why. Slowly, he reached his hand up, and placed it comfortingly on her upper bicep.  
Instantly, her shaking stopped and her breathing slowed. Her head turned ever so slightly to see his hand on her arm, and before he could even have a second thought, she brought her elbow directly into his chest with what felt like all the force she could muster. All the air in his lungs was instantly knocked out of him, and before he had time to react, she was on top of him, straddling his torso, her left arm pinning his right, water poised like a dagger at his throat.  
“Don’t you ever touch me again,” she spat through gritted teeth. She was close enough that he could feel her warm breath on his face. He savored it. “If I ever want you near me, it’ll be because I decided to finally rid the world of you.” She held his gaze for a few seconds longer to make sure the message was received, but Zuko found himself, just for a moment, forgetting everything in the entire world except for the two shimmering blue pools of anger focused entirely on him. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. He could do nothing but stare blankly back, completely mesmerized.  
Unsatisfied and confused as to why Zuko didn’t seem to be fighting back or recoiling, Katara got up with a huff making sure to put all her weight on Zuko’s chest to push herself to her feet. She sheathed her weaponized water as she stalked over to Appa’s reins, where she set herself down silently, without another look in Zuko’s direction.  
He should have been angry. Should have raged back at her for lashing out when he was only trying to help. But seeing the moonlight rest on her hair quelled the fire inside of him in a way he had never experienced before. Simply the sight of her, knowing that she understood his darkness more than anyone else alive, helped lull him to sleep. He didn’t take his eyes off of her until he was unconscious, where she occupied his dreams as well.

Part II- After

Katara felt lighter than she had in a very long time. Confronting the man responsible for her mother's death had granted her a level of solace and freedom that she did not think was achievable in this life. She knew that she had Zuko to thank for that, and the confrontation allowed her to forgive Zuko and truly accept him as part of the group. Things still felt kind of weird between them, but it had been a long, strange day for them both. Plus, she had only forgiven him a mere few hours ago. The night before her confrontation with Yon Rha, she vaguely remembered a tiny altercation between the two of them when she awoke to find him in her personal space, but that moment had been lost in the sea of emotions that she had felt the next day. She had confidence that with time, they would be able to get along without any strangeness or any animosity.  
The entire camp had gone to bed earlier than normal as part of their plan to be fully rested for the day soon when fire benders would be at their most powerful. Although she was exhausted, she had been lying awake in bed playing with some water above her head, enjoying her new found freedom from herself. It just felt so good to be uninhibited. To have closure to the event that had defined her entire existence. To feel like Katara of the Southern Water Tribe.  
She decided to celebrate this feeling with a bit of indulgence. Her mind kept wandering to the apples the gang had collected while she was gone, and there was only one way to quiet those thoughts. As she left her tent to find the bag that contained the gang’s food, for a moment she thought it was somehow morning already. The moon was so bright that she could see everything clearly as if it was high noon. She thought about Yue, and how Sokka felt about her. How they seemed to be two souls destined to be with each other, but fates timing had other plans. Katara wondered how life would be different if her brother had been with her and not Suki. She knew Sokka and Suki cared very deeply for each other, but she also knew that part of her brother will always care for the piece of his heart that he will never be able to get back.  
As she silently stalked through camp, careful not to wake anyone, a noise came from the direction of Zuko’s tent. She froze, and listened for the sound again. At first, she would have sworn it was a wounded animal crying out for help. Then the sound came again, and she realized she wasn’t entirely mistaken. The sound had not come from the area around Zuko’s tent, but rather, from inside of it. A deep, painful, mix between what could only be described as a moaning scream. As if possessed, all thoughts of apples were immediately drained from Katara’s head as she changed direction, and walked towards Zuko’s tent.  
“This is ridiculous. What are you even thinking?” She whispered out loud to herself as she approached the flap covering the entry to the tent. She felt as if she were in a dream, that her actions were not entirely her own, and yet she was fully aware that this was all still her choice. She could stop this at any time she wanted to. But she didn’t want to. Not yet. She was morbidly curious about...something. Something that lay inside Zuko’s tent.  
As she drew back the canvas doorway, she knew what she would find, and yet the tiniest gasp escaped her lips anyway. Zuko lay on his back in his bed, unconscious and shirtless, yet not at peace in the slightest. The muscles in his arms, chest, and abdomen were tight, and his face was full of emotion. She realized that having the door open was letting too much light in, so she stepped in and allowed it to fall closed behind her. In the dim light, she could still make out his features clearly, without straining her eyes. Or maybe it was the fact that her eyes had not left his body for almost a whole minute.  
He was in pain. Perhaps not physically, but the realness of his discomfort was as apparent as the red scar on his face. He was writhing slightly, with his head turning back and forth. His whole body moved and surged, searching for an escape from the pain. He was softly groaning, sometimes loudly, with some words sometimes breaking through the guttural, primal sounds. Father. Mother. Azula. Honor. Mai. For some baffling reason, she found herself flinching ever so slightly at the last one. As she stood there watching him, whether hypnotized or unsure of what to do she did not know, he began to say new words that surprised her more than they should have. Aang. Avatar. Sokka. Toph. Katara.  
“Katara,” he said again with a shake in his voice. “Katara…” he repeated for a third time with his voice breaking. A single tear escaped her eye and slid down her cheek. A tear that she was unaware existed in the first place. As she wiped it off of her jaw with the back of her hand, she knew that she could not leave him like this. Silently, she crossed the length of the tent to be standing over him at the foot of his bed, never once taking her eyes off of him.  
He continued to writhe beneath her, and she shuddered to imagine whatever nightmare he was experiencing that caused him to call out to everyone that he had ever cared about, including her. Her name. The way he had said her name rang in her ears. The begging, longing, pleading way he whispered it in a way that he had never said anything before. It lingered in her soul and would not be shaken. Quietly, she laid on Zuko’s bed next to him, but with some space between them. It was summer, meaning blankets were not necessary, but still she pulled up the one that Zuko had kicked off in his sleep and draped it over both of them.  
He continued to shake and moan and Katara was afraid he might cry. Lying there, watching his surprisingly beautiful unscarred side of his face, she thought about last night, when she had awoken to his hand on her arm and his breath on her neck. She thought about how repulsed she felt, how the flash of searing anger that swept over her the moment she realized how close he was to her, and wondered if he woke up to see her there, if he would be able to contain his fury, as she was barely able to contain hers. But then she thought about the difference. Her dreams before the catharsis she had experienced earlier that same day were fueled by her rage and anger that she kept covered as often as she could. She considered what Zuko’s dreams could be about if his fury was on display every day. What could his anger be covering?  
Any answer she could think of was too painful to dwell on. There was too much pain there, pain that she might be able to understand if she allowed herself to, knowing that much of that same pain had a place in her heart, even if it manifested itself differently. Suddenly, she felt an uncontrollable urge to help him. To make him feel safe even in his sleep. Slowly, she reached out a slightly shaking hand across his shuddering body, and rested it right in the middle of his chest. As her hand made contact, the heat from his body transferred into her fingers, then her palm, cascading up her entire forearm. It was electrifying, like a slow stream of liquid lightning being poured over her entire arm.  
His shaking stopped. His breathing slowed after only a few more shuddering breaths. The moans ceased. Katara used her hand to pull herself closer to his now calmed body, eliminating any space between them. Her entire arm now rested vertically across his torso, stretching from his collar bone to his abs. Her chin rested on his shoulder, her face almost buried in his hair. Katara’s heart raced and her cheeks felt hot. How long had she wanted to do this? Needed to do it?  
Slowly yet somehow suddenly, Zuko’s head turned towards her. His eyes remained shut, and yet he spoke. His speech was slowed and slurred, and Katara assessed that he was still at least partially asleep. “Katara,” he whispered so quietly she could barely hear him even though she couldn’t have been closer if she tried, “is that you?” “Shhhh…” Katara breathed as she placed her finger on his lips. They were softer than she had imagined. Imagined? Katara shut the thought out. “It’s alright,” she breathed to the prince, “just sleep.”  
Reluctantly, she removed her finger from his lips, draping her arm across his stomach. His abs remained taut against her fingers as she slowly slid her hand over the clearly formed muscles, eventually resting her forearm across the length of his body. Then, without warning, Zuko shifted his entire body into katara. He buried his face in her neck and hair, pushing his body entirely against hers. Every part of their bodies was making contact with the other, as if they were two puzzle pieces that had finally found each other.  
Katara was surprised at the shift in body formation, but even more surprised at how easily she welcomed it. She did not have any desire to move from this position for a hundred years. Zuko’s breath was hot and enticing on her collarbone, like a hundred tiny flames burning but extinguishing as soon as they made contact with her exposed skin. Soon, his lips were pressed right against her, and she could have sworn that he was...kissing her? Whispering something? At the very least she was positive that she could feel his lips moving, and somehow caressing against her skin and it gave her chills despite her best intentions. Her entire head drained of any thoughts she had ever had in her entire life. Nothing existed outside of Zuko’s lips pressed against her.  
She never wanted to leave again. She never wanted to leave this bed. She never wanted the sun to come up. All she ever wanted for the rest of her life was to lay here, with the future Fire Lord, stroking his hair as he whispered silent nothings against her body, as if the only function it ever served was to feel those shockingly soft lips rest against it. Over and over her hands moved through the thick, black hair, lulling Zuko and herself into a deeper sleep than either of them had gotten in years.

Katara awoke to find the tent beginning to flood with light. She looked down at the still sleeping fire bender that lay between her arms and felt more at peace than she had in years. His black hair was unbelievably messy, and he lay pressed tightly against her chest. His face was angled ever so slightly up so he could breathe, and her eyes lingered on his lips as she took in his face. They were as beautiful and alluring as they had been in the darkness.  
His hands were all around her, with one reaching up her entire back and ending at the base of her neck, and the other wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her in deeper and closer to his torso, as if even in his sleep his appetite for being close to her was insatiable. Her hands were stretched across his powerful shoulders, nearly clasped on his back, but not quite, so as to touch as much of him as possible. Their legs were a tangled mess, she could hardly tell where hers began and his ended. They were holding each other like they had needed the other's body as if it was water after a week in the Si Wong Desert. She needed him. And he needed her.  
Then, the illusion was broken. She saw a shadow go across the tent, and she knew that Aang had woken up early to get a jumpstart on training. She knew that Zuko had to wake up soon to work with him, and if she was there when Zuko and the others woke up...she couldn’t imagine the amount of questions and embarrassment that would follow. And she couldn’t do that to Aang. Well, maybe she could. But she wouldn’t. Not now, at least.  
Slowly, she removed her hands from Zukos back. She began to pull her body out of his grasp, but stopped. She looked at his face again, and leaned back into him without a second thought. Their moment in the cave rang in her head as she recalled the heat of his scar on her fingers He had let her touch him. Let her in. Their journey after that may be complicated, but that moment stood out as a shining promise of who he could have been. No, she reminded herself, of who he still could be.  
Long, messy, midnight black hair covered the top of his head and part of his eyes. She lightly brushed it out of the way, pretending not to linger on the red part surrounding his eye. Every inch of his face was regally beautiful, whether he knew it or not. The prince of the entire Fire Nation, beautiful and terrifying, had found peaceful rest in the arms of a Water Tribe peasant. She tried not to laugh at the irony, and he stirred ever so slightly. That tiny movement, where he brought his body even closer to hears without knowing, was the tipping point.  
She pressed her lips against his forehead. Not necessarily a kiss, but not necessarily not a kiss. The smell and feel of his skin against her mouth was intoxicating. She felt drugged. It wasn’t fair to leave him, not fair for either one of them. Finally, she couldn’t resist. She lightly placed her hand underneath his chin, and tilting his head up from her chest ever so slightly, moved her body down a few inches to a more convenient angle. Feeling the line of his jaw against her fingers, her lips grazed his ever so softly. She couldn’t bring herself to give him a full kiss, but she had to know. She couldn’t live another second without knowing what his lips felt like against hers. It would have driven her past insanity to leave that tent without experiencing the exhilaration of their mouths touching, if only for half a moment. As she pulled her face away from his, studying his still beautiful, sleeping features, she thought for a moment she detected the faintest flicker of a smile grace the lips she had just left, but as quickly as she suspected it, it vanished.  
Freeing herself from his grip was one of the hardest things she had ever done. It took all her willpower to leave out the back of his tent and sneak back into hers. No one had seen her. No one would suspect a thing. She collapsed onto her bed, cursing the sun for having to rise and end her night, simultaneously exhausted and more well rested than she had ever felt. She knew she still had a few hours before she would absolutely have to get up, and decided to take advantage of it. Sleep found her with her fingers lightly touching her lips, as she dreamt of a certain Fire Lord feeding her apples in a royal palace.

Zuko slowly awoke to what sounded like someone leaving his tent through the back. He felt more rested than he had in...well since before he left home for the first time in search of the Avatar. He wondered if his dream of having Katara with him during the night was why he felt so refreshed and relaxed. Then he noticed the strange position of his body and the blanket around his legs that never stayed on during sleep. He licked his lips, smelled the air around him, and smiled. It wasn’t a dream. Still softly grinning, Zuko got out of bed, dressed, and prepared to train with Aang. He knew they wouldn’t talk about what had happened, let alone acknowledge it in any form, but he was okay with that. He knew it happened.  
He had smelled and tasted fire lilies.

Part III- The End

“What’s one more sleepless night?” Zuko asked himself as he swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood. His chest throbbed with the swiftness of the motion, reminding him that he had just been shot with lightning just a few hours earlier. The bandages were still fresh and clean, and he was inwardly disappointed, as needing to change them would have given him something to do. Ever since the night in his tent that was now a fire lily soaked dream that he questioned the reality of what really happened, Zuko had been unable to find a full night's rest. He had hoped that once his father was defeated and peace was achieved, he would get the best sleep of his life, but tonight seemed worse than ever. He shrugged on a silk robe, left the front open and untied exposing his black shorts, and left his room without any idea of where he would go.  
Despite the indescribable exhaustion he felt from the past few days, Zuko couldn’t even begin to convince himself that he was tired. His mind was full of thoughts, words, and images flashing by at breakneck speed, all of which connected in some way to his sister. Azula, his only sister, who had been trying to kill him for months and had nearly succeeded just a few hours ago, who was currently locked in a cell far away from the palace, completely alone. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t keep the thoughts out of his head. The mental image of Azula, chained to the grate in the ground, screaming and thrashing through hot, angry tears, knowing she had lost in the most final way possible. The only time in his entire life where Azula had shown him how she truly felt. The only time in his entire life when his sister was honest with him.  
Zuko realized he had stopped in front of a tapestry containing a modified family portrait without meaning to, as if in a dream. He gazed up at the two faces, belonging to his father and sister, and thought about another world where it contained all four members of his family. In the tapestry before him, Azula and Ozai stood resolute, encompassed by a red dragon breathing blue flames. The sight of it made him feel completely and deeply alone. He wished so desperately for his mother to be with him, so she could take him into her warm embrace that he had missed for so many years. He wanted Azula there too, and the thought surprised him. After all the pain she had caused him, he just wanted her to be with him, to be happy. To have a home with his family. He had known all along, that deep down, Azula’s capacity for good was equal to his own. It ached his heart to know that she would likely never reach it.  
He moved his eyes to the painted face of his father. Strong, absolute, and regal. He would not allow himself any time tonight to dwell on Ozai, he knew he would never get sleep if he did. Instead, while maintaining eye contact with his two dimensional father, Zuko pulled the massive tapestry off the wall, allowing it to fall to the floor in a massive heap of red and blue. The motion felt like it would tear a hole in his torso, but he bore the pain with pride. Every moment of discomfort reminded him of why he did what he did, and why he would never even consider regretting it.  
He rubbed his good eye, hoping it would trick his hyper alert brain into feeling tired, and began to walk again. As he walked through the endless maze of halls and rooms behind locked doors that made up the Royal Palace, he found his mind louder than ever before. Images of Azula chained to the floor, blue fire erupting from her mouth as she screamed in unbearable agony, his father giving him the scar that would define him for life, the feeling of Iroh embracing him at their reunion...it was all so much. Too much. He wasn’t looking where he was going anymore. It hurt to open his eyes. His head was throbbing so hard that he could hear his blood pumping in his ears. No, those were screams. His screams. Azula's screams. His mother’s screams. It was all too much. He couldn’t bear it anymore. It was too painful. It was too much. Too much at once.  
And then he saw her standing in the moonlight, and suddenly every heavy thing he had ever carried in his heart floated away on the gasp that escaped his lips.

Katara couldn’t sleep. She wasn’t sure why, because by all counts she should be exhausted and barely able to keep her eyes open, but she knew it would be a long night the second everyone had gone to their separate bedrooms. Maybe it was the fact that she was trying to sleep in the palace without having to worry about being caught or captured, and also not having to worry about what dangers the next day would hold and how to prepare for them. For the first time in months, Katara was able to sleep with complete peace of mind, yet she was more restless than ever.  
After hours of thrashing around in her bed, trying every way imaginable to convince herself that she was tired, Katara finally decided to stop pretending and do something about it. With an angry huff, she flung the covers off of herself, and jumped out of bed. She considered donning the robe lying in her room, but decided against it. She strode out into the hallway in nothing but her pajamas and loose hair, knowing that the entire palace was dead asleep.  
As she wandered the scarlet halls, she pondered over her journey here. How much time had passed since Aang whisked them away on the journey of a lifetime, and how much they had all grown and changed since then. She thought about Zuko and how happy he must be to finally be home, with his honor intact. The thought of Zuko sleeping peacefully in a large, comfortable royal bed made her smile. It’s what he deserved. What she wanted for him.  
Katara wandered until she found a balcony overlooking the capital. She leaned on the stone wall, taking in the beautiful sight of the city that was sleeping during its first night truly free in a century. The air was warm, but the cool breeze was ever present, blowing her hair slightly and sailing over her smooth skin. The full moon was bright enough that the entire balcony was bathed in silver, and part of the dark hallway beyond it as well. She looked up at the bright orb, feeling the power it gave her run through her veins. She smiled at the little rush, and the peace she felt despite her restlessness. Then, suddenly, she heard a gasp from behind her and felt the weight of someone’s eyes rest on her back.  
She wasn’t alarmed. Inexplicably, she knew who would be standing before her as she turned her head slightly, just to see him over her shoulder. Despite herself, she took a moment to realize how stunning he looked. His black hair was ruffled and unkempt. The bright moonlight illuminated his pale skin with an ethereal glow, as if he were an angel. When her eyes finally met his, after they took in the sight of each other’s bodies, she realized how distraught he looked. As if something very real was bothering him, an invisible ghost to everyone except him. He just stood there looking at her, mouth hanging there. So, Katara decided to make the first move. With a sly grin and a playful taunt in her voice, she said, “Hello, your majesty. Care to join me on the balcony?”

Zuko’s legs moved on their own, carrying him toward what he was certain was some otherworldly spirit. That was the only explanation for how beautiful this being in his balcony was, how else could he explain this person of pure light before him? She had more skin exposed than he had ever seen from her, and suddenly felt flustered and very aware of every imperfection his body held. Yet he did not drop his gaze as he seemed to float toward her, eventually leaning himself on the balcony next to her.  
“So, you can’t sleep either?” The beautiful creature asked him. What was her name, again? He knew that somewhere he had that information, but was coming up blank as he gazed into those pools of shimmering, deep blue that were filled with nothing but openness and wonder. Katara, he remembered suddenly. That was her name. But he would be damned if he could remember his own in a hundred years as long as those blue eyes gazed at his.  
“Guess not,” he replied, casting his eyes out across the city. His city. “Seems like I’m not quite used to being home yet.” The words felt dry and stupid, but he knew honesty would be his best strategy here. Katara laughed a beautiful laugh and he felt her take those blue eyes off of him. He hadn’t realized that she had kept gazing at his face when he turned. “You had a home when you were with us,” she said, “but I know what you mean. I’m ready to go home too.” Zuko remembered that he had been to her home, and shame filled his soul. “I’m sorry again,” he choked out, “about-” “It’s fine,” she cut him off. “I already told you that I forgive you. Besides,” Zuko could sense she was smiling, “you getting rid of the ponytail was enough of an apology on its own.” With the last word, she reached out and ruffled his hair.  
Her touch sent an electric shock cascading down his spine and throughout his body. He chuckled, but his mind was going a million places a second, all of them having to do with Katara and the hand that touched him. She drew her hand away, and rotated her body so she was now facing the doorway back into the palace, leaning her delicate yet muscular back on the stone wall, her palms bracing herself on either side. In the movement, he thought she had somehow moved closer to him, but he couldn’t be sure.  
“Ya know,” she began, “this part wasn’t something I ever thought about. The immediate ‘after.’ I know all the stuff that will happen with me returning home and you becoming Fire Lord,” the words hurt him. He didn’t know how, but something deep inside his chest was wounded. She continued, “but I never thought about...now. About what happens immediately after the fighting, before the rebuilding.” She paused for a moment, and Zuko looked over at her. Her eyes were distant, as if she too had a million things on her mind. “It’s just so...quiet. I think that’s what is surprising me the most. There’s no noise anywhere. Even you, who’s awake just like me, you’re not even saying anything.” She looked at him expectantly, meeting his eyes. “Maybe I just like hearing the sound of your voice,” he said too casually, clearly setting up his tease, “because we both know I definitely haven’t heard it enough these past few weeks.” He was joking, of course, but deep down he knew it was more than partially true. He could never get enough of that voice for as long as he lived.  
She laughed, and rotated her body once more, to face him directly. This time he knew she had moved herself closer, the space between their faces was now less than half what it once was. For a bit more than a moment, all they did was breathe and stare at each other. Zuko asked in a whisper, “Why couldn’t you sleep?” Katara smirked and replied in the same whisper, “Not entirely used to peace yet, I guess. What about you?” Out of habit, Zuko’s eyes dropped to the floor. As they fell, he noticed her pajama clad body, with her arms, midriff, and legs all much more exposed than they normally were. Not wanting to give the wrong impression, he immediately corrected his eyes, but did so too quickly. She gave him a knowing smile as he blushed despite his best efforts. Swallowing his pride and embarrassment, he replied, “I’m not used to a home without you.”  
This seemed to take Katara by surprise, and she raised her eyebrows. “Oh?” She said in a mocking tone, “The great and powerful future Fire Lord finds himself lost without his poor Water Tribe peasant friend?” Zuko let out a genuine belly laugh, the first one in a while, he realized, and instantly felt the pain in his stomach. He grimaced and sucked his teeth as his laugh was cut short, his hand instantly bracing the wound. Katara’s face went from playful to concerned in a heartbeat. Immediately, her eyes darted to his abdomen. “How bad is it?” she asked. “Not terrible,” Zuko replied. A half truth, but a truth nonetheless. “If I’m distracted, then I can’t feel it.” “Unless you’re hanging out with the funniest girl in all the nations, it seems.” Katara chided playfully. “Well,” Zuko retorted just as playfully, “if I see her I’ll let you know.”  
Katara rolled her eyes and reached out a hand to the bandages. “May I?” She asked, meeting his eyes. He nodded. Katara cut the space between them down to nearly nothing as she took a step toward him, her eyes and now hands on his abdominal muscles. Carefully, she removed the bandage, all while he stared at her hands touching his body. The wound looked much better than it had a few hours ago, but the burn marks remained. It still needed more time, but it was on the right path. Very much like himself a few weeks ago, Zuko realized. Katara had been there to help with that rehabilitation as well.  
Katara let the bandages fall from her hands onto the stone floor. “You’ll need new ones,” she said without taking her eyes off the wound or the muscle underneath it, “so make sure you do that before you get dressed tomorrow.” Her eyes lingered on the exposed muscle too long to be innocent, and Zuko knew how purposeful it was. He expected her to turn away in embarrassment when she caught him noticing her, but she simply met his gaze, smirked, and brought her eyes back down to where her hands were, taking her time as she dragged them down his body, noticing every line of his neck and chest. Her hands remained on his stomach, one of her fingers tracing the outlines of his abdominal muscles. His entire mind was blank and numb. The overload of emotions and feelings from the contact seemed to break his brain. All he could do was stare at her.  
Zuko took half a step back so he was leaning on the balcony railing. She followed him in perfect synchronization, keeping the exact distance and positioning as she had. He welcomed it. “What’re you thinking about?” She asked him in a breathless whisper he could barely hear. Doing his best to not trip over his words, he replied just as quietly, “a lot of things.” Katara kept her eyes fixed on where her fingers kept tracing the outlines of his abs, as if she were trying to write a message into the chiseled formation. The breeze billowed his robe, still loosely tied despite the removal of the bandages, flapping against Katara’s thighs. Her dark hair was enchanting in the midnight moon.  
His eyes danced between her lips and her eyes, indecisive of which he enjoyed looking at more. He returned her question with a low growl, “what are you thinking about?” A wicked smile tugged at the corners of her lips. She leaned in closer, and mouthed more than said, “only one thing.”  
At the last possible moment before her lips would touch his, Zuko closed his eyes and turned his head away just enough to make his position clear. Through his closed eyes he could feel her shock and embarrassment, and shame filled his stupid head. Why did he have to do that? What was holding him back? Her hands left his stomach, and he instantly felt colder. She stood, and began to turn to leave, her embarrassment palpable. Regret hit him like a ton of ice water crashing onto his head. She began walking away, as if she was preparing to sprint down the halls, forever leaving his touch.  
Without a second thought, he grabbed her wrist before she could take the final step to leave the balcony. “I’m sorry,” the words escaped his mouth before he could have time to think about them. Probably better that way, he realized. “I don’t know why I did that. It was stupid of me. I-” She cut him off. “No. I’m sorry,” she said through what sounded like gritted teeth. Zuko felt her hand ball into a fist against his skin, and realized she was trying to hold back those angry tears he had seen that night on Appa’s back. She continued to speak without looking at him, “I know we both have people that we love, and we could never be together in any way more than friends but...I don’t know. I thought maybe, just for tonight, things could be different. Just one night where we could be unapologetically together, like there is no outside world. No tomorrow. Just us, being more open and honest with each other and ourselves than we ever have been. Just us-”  
The soft jerking motion on her wrist sent her stumbling into Zuko, where a pair of familiar soft lips found hers before she realized what had happened. She welcomed it for a second, then pulled back, shocked. Zuko simply smiled and whispered, “tonight’s good for me.” Grinning from ear to ear, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him as deeply as she possibly could.  
The future Fire Lord returned the kiss.

“Finally,” was the only thing Katara managed to think the split second before Zuko kissed her. As soon as contact was made, she found herself incapable of any thought. She was a vessel for emotion, impulses, and honesty made bare through action. She knew he was the same.  
For a moment, they simply stood there, unmoving as their lips found each other, as if they were unsure who was meant to begin moving first. Katara didn’t even care, the feeling of having him finally being this close to her was enough. Then, suddenly, it wasn’t. She didn’t want some unmoving statue, she wanted him. In unison, as they both seemed to overcome the shared surprise at what was happening, they moved together.  
Their lips pressed against each other hard then soft, taking turns, heads turning from left to right. It was as close as a connection she had ever felt with anyone. An unspoken, mutual expression of care and understanding. It was innocent and carefree, even young somehow.  
Slowly, the innocence faded. His hands let go of her wrists and found their way gliding over her forearms, up to her biceps, across her bare shoulders, finding their way to her back, both upper and lower. The sensation gave her chills across her entire body. Keeping one hand on his chest, she allowed the other to slide across his side, resting between his toned shoulder blades that felt like mountains against her palm. The space between fit her hand perfectly, as if his body was made specifically for her. Spirits help her, he was perfect.  
As they slowly became more intertwined, she felt his tongue slowly enter her mouth. Lazily, it brushed against hers, both in question and invitation. She opened herself up to it, finding a new sensation to lose herself to. She arched into him, tightening her grip on both his chest and his back, as he brought her body even closer into his. Finally, her other hand found its way to his back as well, right above where the hem of his shorts rested. She wondered how long that would be enough before…  
She had finally had enough of the obnoxious silk robe that enveloped both of them in the moonlight. Their mouths still intertwined as if it was necessary for survival, she slid the fabric off of his shoulders, freeing them in the open air. She opened her eyes just wide enough to get a glance of them and realized she couldn’t resist. Without warning, she ripped her face away from his, burying it where his neck met his shoulders, with her hands taking in as much of his toned back as possible. She felt, with no small amount of satisfaction, the hair on the back of his neck stand on end instantly as she kissed him repeatedly on his now exposed skin.  
Zuko allowed the robe to fall off of his arms, onto the stone floor, surrounding them in a perfect circle. For a moment, he stood there allowing her to kiss his shoulder with no response that he even noticed other than the hair that still stood undeniably straight at the base of his neck. His skin was unbelievably warm against her lips and tongue, only further enticing her. She was insatiable. Then, it was Zuko’s turn to surprise her.  
With one swift movement, he lifted the water bender with both hands, and she instinctively wrapped her legs tightly around his torso as their mouths naturally found each other again, as if they were two pieces of a long lost puzzle that had finally been reunited after years apart. Slowly, Zuko turned and carried her towards the balcony railing overlooking the city, with hundreds of feet between it and the ground. He pulled away from her just enough to ask in his raspy, hungry voice, “do you trust me?” As she looked into his eyes, it felt like looking into a mirror. All the desire and longing she felt was there, staring right back. Her wicked grin and playful bite of his nose was all the answer he needed as their mouths went back to doing the only thing they had ever been meant for.  
Zuko carried her with noticeable ease to the wall, setting her directly on it. The only thing between her and falling to her certain death was the fire bender’s hands on her back. Zuko’s lips moved from her mouth to her cheek, to her jaw, to her chin, to her throat, dragging just enough to make her shiver in the cool breeze with anticipation. She inclined her head back as much as possible, exposing all of it to him. He undid her betrothal necklace one handedly, throwing it behind him without looking. He kissed the skin previously covered by the pendant, which proved to be even more sensitive than her already welcoming neck. She let out the tiniest sound of approval against the empty air above her, and she felt his mouth curve upwards into an undeniable smile against her skin. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to roll her eyes or make the sound again.  
As she allowed him to hold her over the edge, he slowly moved his mouth across her, to her shoulders. He lowered her slightly more with each second, making her more and more parallel to the ground far beneath her. He finally arrived at her shoulder, savoring every single inch of her that he could, appreciating it in the way that she knew he could do much better than he could with words.  
He was on her bicep. She was almost completely horizontal, one with her landscape. She opened her eyes, to see the city become an ocean of lights above her, and the bright, singular light of the moon beneath her. In all of her adventures this past year, this was something brand new. She had never seen the world this way. Never thought it was possible. Never even considered it a possibility, especially not experiencing it while the soon to be most powerful ruler in the world caressed and worshipped her every muscle with his mouth, as if it were his dying wish to do so and he was making every millisecond count. It was unbelievable, how good she felt. How right she felt. How she could be this close to a terrifying death, and be completely focused on the beauty she was experiencing and the tender caress of Zuko’s tongue against her flesh. How had she not always wanted this? How could she ever go back?  
Without warning, a wind strong enough to shake her in his dangerous grip kicked up, startling both of them. He grabbed her tightly, but her instincts kicked in too fast for him react. Her knee made contact with Zuko’s abdominal wound, with enough force that should have sent him stumbling backwards, had he not been previously completely occupied. With a groan as the air left his lungs, he brought Katara back onto the patio, safely behind the wall. “Oh no,” Katara whispered as Zuko doubled over in pain, “oh no I am so sorry. I was so scared by the wind, I- are you okay? Zuko I am so sorry.”  
Zuko slowly turned his face to her, revealing his teasing smile. Katara’s scowl found its way to her brow and lips before he could bring himself back to his full height. “Aw, were you worried about me, Katara?” he whispered sarcastically, taking a step toward her, “that’s so sweet of you,” he crooned. “So...you’re really okay?” Katara asked, staring deeply into those beautiful eyes of his that could have been hers much longer ago had she not been so blind. “Never better,” he whispered with a smirk as he placed a hand on the back of her head, leaning in to resume their activities. “Good,” Katara said at normal conversation volume, and gave Zuko’s chest a mighty shove.  
Zuko stumbled back before he could react, his back making hard contact with the stone wall behind him. Before he could even think of a response to her, she had crossed the balcony with speed and grace he had never seen before, and had filled his mouth with hers. Katara felt any clever comebacks or witty insults translated from words into soft moans and tongue movements against her open mouth. She accepted and returned both in turn.  
Katara’s hands were lost in his midnight black hair. Her fingers ruffled and ran through it like it was a sport, one that she had trained for since birth. It was indescribably soft, and she wondered if there was any magic in the world that would allow her to shrink small enough to live in it, at least for a time. As her thoughts drifted briefly, she felt his hand on her lower back drift lower, lower...lower. She knew exactly where it was going, but he was taking an unbelievably long time to get there. Too long. So, once his hand found its new resting spot, she showed him how he should have done it, and forcibly grabbed the same area on his body with both hands, hard enough that the sound echoed throughout the halls. The prince was shocked enough that he gasped and jumped, his wide eyes looking at her incredulously. Katara simply tilted her head back, summoned her best innocent smile she possibly could, and batted her eyes at the stunned figure before her. Zuko smirked, and let out a low laugh that was really more of a scoff, but...fire. Fire had come out of his mouth when he laughed, only for an instant, but hot enough that it still warmed her face. Their mouths met again, this time Zuko’s tongue coated in an invisible heat that warmed her entire body all the way down to her toes.  
Everywhere. They were both everywhere. In each other’s thoughts. Minds. Histories. Futures. Mouths. Lungs. They completed and occupied each other so perfectly that it felt as if the entire world had been holding its breath for this moment, shaping each of them to perfectly fit the other. Fire and water. Sun and moon. Push and pull. Zuko and Katara.  
Their hands explored each other thoroughly, nothing feeling off limits. At some point, Zuko had changed their positions, so it was her pinned up against the wall instead of him. She wasn’t sure when he had freed himself enough from her body shoving him against that cool surface enough to do so, but she was glad he had. It had grown feverish and fast, their hands moving up and down each other so fast they could barely feel what they were touching anymore. Katara briefly thought how this would appear to anyone who had the misfortune of walking by, witnessing the two of them kiss deeply, passionately, and sloppily, and they both learned every detail of the other through wandering hands that moved too quickly to track.  
Then, suddenly, as Zuko was harshly biting and kissing her neck as her fingers had been long lost in his mop of beautiful hair, he stopped. They both stopped, together. He slowly pulled his head back from her neck, red from how much time he had spent there. As he stood, hands on her waist, inches from her face, he simply stared at her. Deeply, intently, stared, as if it were the first time he was seeing her. Katara straightened, her hands dropping from his hair. She kept them flung around his neck as she returned his gaze.  
He was beautiful. Not his body, or what it had been doing to her, although it certainly didn’t hurt, but him. This exquisite soul that stood before her, whose pain mirrored hers so poetically and specifically, was beautiful. She knew he could feel her thinking it, and didn’t have to say it. He was in her mind. And she was in his. They were one. She thought about how much he hated himself. How he had thrown himself into his task of finding the Avatar, without any rest or hope because he felt he did not deserve it. She did everything she could to convey through her eyes that he did deserve it. Deserved this night, deserved everything she would give him. Her hand slowly found its way to his scarred face. As she rested her palm against the red flesh, she had expected him to flinch, or turn away. Instead, to her surprise, tears sprang to his eyes immediately, and he turned into her hand, not away from it. He allowed her to caress his face, to hold it in her palm, as if he completely signed himself over to her, as if autonomy and free will were ancient concepts when it came to how much of himself he wanted to give to her.  
Her thumb lightly brushed against his face over and over as they maintained eye contact. The tears that had manifested had disappeared without falling down his face, and Katara wondered where they could have gone. His eyes were all that existed for her. The entire world, everyone she had ever known could all burn for all she cared. As long as she had those eyes that saw her, the real her, and did not flinch or turn away. Those eyes that knew her because they felt what she felt. Knew what she knew. Those eyes that she would never look away from for as long as she possibly could.  
They both leaned in with their eyes open. All the way until their lips touched, they refused to break eye contact. This kiss was different from all the others. It wasn’t new and innocent, or lustful and heated. This one was soft and slow, caring and tender. There were no wandering hands this time, no sweat trickling down brows, or tongues dancing. This kiss was special. It conveyed years of unknown longing, feelings that could never be conveyed by any primitive methods such as speech. It was about their past, their present, and their future that they could never have. It was slow. It was heartbreaking. It was beautiful.  
It was hers. He was hers. Her eyes stung behind closed lids as Katara of the Southern Water Tribe fought back her tears.

At some point, they had made their way to the floor, sitting against the wall. He wasn’t entirely sure how or when, but there she was, sitting in his lap, water dancing around the fire in his palms. They had angled themselves to see the city through the open balcony, and feel the breeze that flowed cooly and evenly across it. Their fire and water danced together in the air, in sync with each other while trying to find ways to out maneuver and surprise the other. Zuko wanted to speak. He wanted so badly to talk to her while they still had the night, but the silence felt even more precious than any words he could possibly use to fill it. So, he sat there with Katara, as their powers caressed and explored each other just as they had done to each other mere hours ago.  
A lifetime. They had spent an entire lifetime together in one night. Every phase of their lost, intertwined, potentially perfect lives explored in one night. The innocent beginning, the learning of trust, the playfulness, the lust, and finally, the truest expression of love he felt he could ever show to someone. That final kiss that showed his true heart and soul for her, and she had returned the action just as freely. Sure there were other kisses peppered throughout their present silence, playful, happy kisses, but that one...that one was his favorite. They had spent an eternity together in one night. Their one night where she had suggested they could be themselves with each other. And they truly had.  
Although it had been coming for hours, the sky finally began to change from the deepest black to the tiniest hints of blue. Their night was rapidly coming to an end. Katara’s water dissipated as she found his eyes. His fire went out immediately after. What could he say? How could he make her understand something that he didn’t even know himself? He opened his mouth, hoping something would find its way out, but nothing did. Katara simply smiled sadly, nodding her agreement. She understood how he felt. She felt it too.  
They stared at each other for a long time, not saying anything. Finally, tears brimming, Katara whispered, “you have to let me go.” Zuko hadn’t even realized how tightly he had been holding her against him. Katara kissed his cheek softly as she pried his fingers off of her. “I can’t,” Zuko finally choked out, “I just can’t,” even as she was slowly standing. Zuko remained seated as she walked to the middle of the balcony, where her necklace lay in the middle of his crumpled robe, still in a perfect circle. The shape reminded him of the circle the fish from the North Pole created. A perfect balance. Katara slowly reached down for the necklace, putting it back around her neck where it belonged. Not where he belonged, he reminded himself, not anymore.  
Katara began to walk away, without giving him another look. He knew it was because if they found each others eyes one more time, they would never be parted, and that was simply impossible. They both had people they loved and needed, so they would lie to themselves. Lie until it became the truth. Zuko could barely breath as he watched her leave him, sitting on the ground, completely alone. Every step she took felt like a knife in his heart. He would rather face a thousand enemies single handedly than experience this pain in his heart. This visceral, unbearable, indescribable pain, as if his very soul was being ripped in half.  
Then suddenly, she stopped. She turned back. Their eyes found each other again, one last time. Tears were streaming down her face, silent and clear. She held his gaze for what felt like an eternity and a second, just as their night had felt. She tore away from his face to look pointedly at the moon, then back to him. As if she were sending one final message to him, in the language that only they could speak. She offered him one final, sad, heart wrenching smile. He could not return it.  
Katara turned from the future Fire Lord and ran down the hall, crying harder with every step.  
Slowly, Zuko got to his feet. As if in a daze, he put on his robe and tied it. It both warmed and cooled his skin simultaneously. Without even thinking, he drifted toward the balcony railing, which he leaned on.The city would be waking up soon. He would be crowned Fire Lord in a few hours. This place would become his home once again. And this night...this wonderful night where he had lived a thousand lifetimes better than whatever was coming his way...this night would be with him forever. No matter what happened, no matter if he never saw Katara again, no one could ever take this night away from them.  
Zuko looked at the moon, now hiding behind some clouds, becoming harder to see with the rising sun. He thought of a story he heard from a dear friend, about how the moon was a long lost lover, the absolute love of his life, but was now forever gone from him, outside of his reach. The potential they could have had together eternally unattainable.  
Zuko put his face in his hands and cried, allowing his tears to fall into the air beneath him, catching the moonlight as they plunged downward into darkness.  
The air smelled of fire lilies.


End file.
